Casting the runes for 2013

Greetings! Domino's Deliveries (we bring you the future, today) have been dabbling with our mystic sources and parting the veil of time, to give you pitchforking, gullible lunatics supporters of the most esteemed, if creepy, Dr the Sainted Goncalol and his trusty ally, Tone, the Harlow Martyr, a glimpse of the many exciting events the coming twelve months may bring.

Oddly, the cusp of Scorpio in Uranus keeps giving a disturbing vision of a tall, balding tramp in a snowstorm - sorry, the mists are clearing, it isn't snow, it's letters.....legal documents of some kind? This is odd, the tramp appears to be surrounded by men in wigs.

Oh dear, the mists are closing in again.....

Oh, that's better. The men in wigs appear to have solved the tramp's accommodation problems, anyway! And his new home has lots of bars on the windows, doubtless to keep burglars out!

Oh dear, the mists have cleared to bring a most terrifying vision!

A bucket of a strange hue, not unlike this one has grown legs, and is running around some kind of secure unit, being chased by the staff!

The bucket keeps shrieking the same things over and over again - Dogs! Bollocks! D*ldo! Construct! Goncalol! Chimps! like a Dalek with dementia. Or Father Jack.

Oh, thank goodness, the mists are falling again! Let's hope there are no more nightmares like that in store!

Oh no, this is even worse! The mists are recoiling in horror from a vile, many-headed monster called - Zooie? The monster has slithered out of the putrid den it inhabits, its tentacles lashing out in blind, frothing rage....



.....it gives warning of its arrival by issuing an incomprehensible, moo-ing sort of bellow....MUUUUUUNNNTTERRSSTWUUUUNTTTS

It's accompanied by a creature of unknown species, but the runes indicate the creature may be an ugly relative of Gollum.... This creature is also obsessed with a Precious, babbling constantly about a 'Pamela'.

Phew, just sprinkling the old crystal ball with Holy Water, and giving the Tarot cards a quick rub-down with garlic, after those horrors crept out of the mists!

bb1 wrote:
It's accompanied by a creature of unknown species, but the runes indicate the creature may be an ugly relative of Gollum.... This creature is also obsessed with a Precious, babbling constantly about a 'Pamela'.

Is that Tony Bennett, Bonny?

If not he's a dead ringer for him

Voices from the Beyond say the Harlow Martyr has a problem with Scorpio in Uranus. At least, I think that's what they said....

bb1 wrote:Voices from the Beyond say the Harlow Martyr has a problem with Scorpio in Uranus. At least, I think that's what they said....

REALLY? Oh my very dear!

I thought that gollum was TB.

I have consulted the Tarot, in the hope of clarifying the Harlow Martyr's Uranus issues, but it isn't looking good...



The Harlow Martyr appears to have incurred the wrath of Karmic forces, and the Voices can hear a strange, tick-tocking noise....

Whatever can it mean?

Pedro Silva wrote:I thought that gollum was TB.

According to the Voices, Gollum's ugly relative is, in fact, even more wretched than Tone the Martyr. Hard though that is to believe. The wretch pretends to be a doctor in the hope of gaining some esteem.

There might be one bit of light on the horizon for the Hounder of Harlow. It may finally be revealed that his peculiar, unpleasant and anti-social conduct is not his fault. He may not actually be human, but a Conehead dropped on England by a passing alien spacecraft, whose crew couldn't stand his incessant trouble-making and whining a nano-second longer...

Domino's Deliveries (bringing you the future today) back again! Took longer than expected to get rid of those denizens of Hades - full bell, book and candle job.

The mists are clearing again - and the sun is shining on foreign shores. But it doesn't look like 2013 will bring much cheer to someone....who is it? Ah, seems to be some sort of gangster....



But what is the creature called....Crystal Bow? What kind of name is that for a gangster....seems to be correct, though.

Oh dear, this isn't good. Karmic Law seems to be catching up with Crystal Bow too.....images are coming through....why are the good people of Portugal throwing rotten fruit at Crystal Bow? Oh, they are very angry indeed! They are shouting things like, espião sujo - which means, dirty spy, I think?

Oh, the scene has switched to a huge football stadium in Lisbon, festooned with green and white...the team are taking penalties.

Oh, they appear to be using Crystal Bow's head as a ball.

Whatever could it mean?

Sorry, star-gazers, that pest keeps disturbing the Ether, showing off its socks and demanding attention. Just ignore it, it'll go away if you shout KYLIE MINOGUE CAN SEE YOU! at it.

Oh dear, the mists are in turmoil - the Powers That Be are trying to give a glimpse of the future for a Very Impotent Person, but are being distracted by a gaggle of biletrolls....



They make no sense whatsoever, all they can ever produce is an endless, repetitive babble.....dogs-shutters-ticktock-lichen-goncalol-dogs-shutters-jogging-moreass-hohovideo-dogs-tinybonnett-lichen-dodgy-tideturn-shutters-goncalol-satellites-dogs

We at Domino's Deliveries do try to feel some pity for the poor things, trapped as they are in a Hell of their own making for eternity. We try, but generally fail.

Oh my very dear, whatever is happening?



A strange message is coming through....it seems to be for someone called Tiny Bonnett? Can't make much sense of it, but it seems to be.....

Your sins are known, all that is hidden shall be revealed. Abandon your fork-tongued, evil ways, before it is too late!

At last! The chattering from the biletrolls has ceased, and Domino's Deliveries (bringing you the future today) can lift the veil on the coming year for a Very Impotent Person....he seems to have rather a bullying, thuggish air about him...



Amoral? Is that the name coming through? Yes, it seems to fit...

Oh dear.

This really isn't good. Something is coming through....a strong smell of dirty ashtrays and cheap alcohol, and fatty food clinging to unwashed clothes.....Amoral seems to be trying to - what? Yes, he is demanding that people remember he coudda been a contender...but they keep turning their backs, revolted by his begging....too many people have been victims of his lies, thuggery and cruelty....he is nothing but an embarrassment....

He keeps insisting that people look at his Ace, oblivious to the fact that everyone can see his hands are empty - though in need of a wash.

Oh, this really isn't good at all, the mists around him are a dirty grey, like stale cigar smoke...most unpleasant.

Oh, one good thing - it seems that where Amoral is headed, there will be clean bedding and hot showers - though he should beware in the showers, as he has many enemies he wrongly accused....

*shudder*

Thankfully, the mists have closed on that dreadful future.

I agree with you bb1, about his ace, perhaps it is a barrel of beer.

Can you help me, Domino? I have been having terrible nasty dreams about deranged souls crying out in torment. I thought it was the microwave beeping after I cooked the dog's macaroni, but it wasn't that. And then I changed the battery in the Smoke Alarm, but it wasn't that either. And now they're at it again, and I'm not even asleep yet.
And I bet you all think I'm joking.

Nearly Midnight here. Perhaps they'll all go to hell in a handcart.

It's the biletrolls, Sabot. Their demented gibbers were briefly heard from behind the veil which thankfully usually keeps them in.

Sadly, they are too stupid to see that they themselves hold the key to end their torment - all they have to do is stop being so cruel and stupid, and they will be allowed to mix with normal, decent people again.

Until that day comes, they will just have to wail and gibber their nonsense to each other.

Do you know, Sauces say that some of them are, even now, having a whip round to get a beer barrel for the famous, but creepy, Goncalol?

The new year isn't even a day old, and the forkers are spewing exactly the same bile and hate they have spewed every year since 2007.

Oh, with a slight difference - they are now making the McCann twins a target for their malice, with remarks like:


They will probably change their names as they grow up. Imagine going to University or something and introducing yourself as Amélie or Sean McCann. They'd never hear the end of it.

Deluding themselves that the rest of society is as gullible and vicious as they are.

It still hasn't dawned on them that when the twins read their sicko trash, they will be horrified and disgusted - that supposed human beings could write such rubbish about the parents they love.

The twins will know better than anyone that these cardboard caricatures invented by the Gonc Cult bear no resemblance to their parents.

They will also know that it is only hate-filled bottom-feeders who spout this trash - no-one of the slightest value, or standing in society, thinks that way.

The haters are also ignoring the fact that leading British hater Bennett is heading for disgrace and ruin, and their beloved Gonc and his thuggish sidekick Cristovao are both heading for Portuguese jail cells.

The McCann-haters have been wrong every single year since 2007, and 2013 isn't going to be any different.

But isn't it fascinating to see them calling such bad Karma down on their own heads, in the opening hours of a new year?

Doncha just love it when Karma finally gets going. All of the leading McCann Hounders and Haters are in serious trouble with The Law. And a very large number of the leading light supporters have vanished into thin air.
You really couldn't make it up.

After nearly SIX years, you'd think it would have dawned on them by now that they are WRONG. But no, on they stumble, and when the world fails to fall in line with their demented imaginings, they decide it's a huge conspiracy by, well, everyone except them.

It's very telling, IMO, that they have to invent so many badly-knitted socks in the vain hope of hiding how few of them there really are.

Sheesh. They really are living in Cloud Cuckoo Land. Nasty, vicious bunch. Imagine wishing doom and trouble on the parents and twins of an abducted child, and on New Year's Day of all days.
The spite and jealousy is so sickeningly obvious it turns my stomach.

If they weren't so horrible, you could almost feel sorry for them, but they are beyond redemption now.

It's obvious that all the semi-sane people have slipped away quietly from their hate sites.